The Saga Of An Erroneous Name
(Hoffmann Becomes Hoffman)

In mid-1955, as I prepared to enter what I thought would be my life’s career, the U. S. Army, I filled out a “gazillion” papers, most of which had my NAME on them: Albert E. Hoffmann! Lo and behold, when I got to the step that required me to visit Town Hall in Huntington for a copy of my birth certificate, the Army recruiter realized that my name was spelled Albert E. Hoffman, the second “n” having been accidently lost on the clerks who wrote the @#$%& birth certificate! In my youthful zeal to “get on with it,” I chose to do nothing and have been “known” by this accidental name for the past 44 years! Here’s why:

Teen-Age Myth: I was signed up for an advanced technical school at Fort Belvoir after basic training so if I didn't hurry and make my commitment date for reporting, I would lose out on my assigned school. Fact Is: The Army would have sent me to that Lithographic Press Operator school regardless of when I started my enlistment. It just would have been eight weeks or so later, had I taken the time to get that @#$%& birth certificate changed.

Teen-Age Myth: If I don’t get into that school, I’ll end up in the Infantry! God forbid! Fact Is: As it turned out, I didn’t like being a printing press flunky anyway, so guess where I transferred to: The Infantry (a grunt as my marine “Bro” would call it)! I Loved The Infantry! After 44 years, I’m still wearing my United States Army Infantry School ring and I’m proud of that service time.

Teen-Age Myth: I'll fix it later! Mom and Dad won't mind if I "temporarily" use this incorrect name. Fact Is: Although neither of them ever said so out-loud (at least not to me) a first-born son can “tell” that his parents were really hurt and disappointed that I never did anything about the error. I believe they both went to Heaven saddened by my procrastination, and I’m extremely sorry for that!

Teen-Age Myth: I'll fix it when I get out of the army! Fact Is: Next thing you know, a year, then two and three went by. After a re-enlistment, two overseas assignments and falling in love and getting married, what's a fella to do! Billie and I were married by the Mayor of a little French town, and now there would be all the "international" paperwork to try to take care of.

Epilogue: So much time has gone by.....! Fact Is: Now I've been working at IBM for years, Billie and I have a son, and I could go on and on with the excuses. Fact is, I was just too lazy to tackle the problem and got too comfortable with the "one n" and now 44 years has gone by .......we're on Social Security and retired from IBM and even Albert now has a wife .......

I hope my family forgives me for this travesty! My Hoffmann-Maloney "roots" are very important to me and I'm extremely proud of who I am and where I came from! I'm very happy that I've been a "Kentuckian" for over 30 years but I am, and always will be an AMERICAN with German-Irish roots, born and raised in the great state of New York!